Enjoy the Ride
It was 2005, and I was preparing for a long flight from Boston to Bali, via Vancouver and Hong Kong, when I decided to pick up a book just starting to garner rave reviews, Never Eat Alone, by New York Times bestselling author Keith Ferrazzi. My event business was still a couple of years from becoming a reality, and this idea of intentional, take-no-prisoners networking seemed like something worth investigating.
Ferrazzi outlined the who, why and what of successful networking and emphasized that yielding positive results from your efforts did not just happen, it had to be a part of a multi-step strategy. The part that really spoke to me, though, was, according to the author, despite all the planning and strategizing, it was also essential to be ready for when an opportunity to connect organically presents itself.
I was already a seasoned solo traveler by this time. I was touting the rewards of solo travel and the incredible connections and friendships I had made by just sitting alone at a hotel bar, or at a jazz club, waiting in line waiting for a falafel, at a newly crowned Michelin-starred restaurant, attending an art opening, on safari in Kenya, or just sitting alone on the banks of the Seine. I explained to my skeptics that without the amazing people that had initiated a chat, had been open to my queries, or had invited me to join their table or events or dinner—some who had become friends others who had become valuable business contacts or mentors—Bella Adventures would have never launched. My life would be poorer without their pivotal contributions, and I hope the benefits have been mutual.
Those lessons on how to be bold stuck with me. I appreciate how hard it is for people of all ages, of both sexes, from all cultures, to start up a conversation with a stranger, or to walk into a restaurant filled with couples and groups on your own. Believe it or not, after some 20 years already, it isn’t always something I look forward to either.
The top reason women specifically tell me they are reluctant to travel alone was never something I expected. I thought it would be security or financial, or just trying to find time away from family or work, but it wasn't. It was the thought of walking into a restaurant and eating alone.
I feel the same way in my fifties that I did in my twenties. There is an amazing world out there, and the fact that you do not have a travel partner shouldn't stop you. Once you get over the fear, the world opens to you, one conversation at a time. You learn so much about the world, its people, life and, more importantly, about yourself. It is profound. Start with small steps, start tonight, make an unknown part of your own neighborhood your next adventure.
Need further inspiration to travel? I would recommend, “No Reservations: Around the World on an Empty Stomach,” from American celebrity chef, author, and iconic travel documentarian, the late Anthony Bourdain.
I will leave you with one of my favorite Anthony Bourdain quotes, which summarizes a life well spent on the road.
Eat at a local restaurant tonight. Get the cream sauce. Have a cold pint at 4 o’clock in a mostly empty bar. Go somewhere you’ve never been. Listen to someone you think may have nothing in common with you. Order the steak rare. Eat an oyster. Have a negroni. Have two. Be open to a world where you may not understand or agree with the person next to you but have a drink with them anyways. Eat slowly. Tip your server. Check in on your friends. Check in on yourself. Enjoy the ride.
Travel well my friends,
Dayla